Social media is great at showing you the
highlights of my life, but rarely do people know the bumps in the road, the
deepest thoughts behind the screen & the lowest of lows.
This is me, being real, open &
vulnerable! I'm going to share the lies that have lingered in my head on a
daily basis & unfortunately at times, I’ve believed them to be true.
Thankfully I serve a God that mends my broken heart, reminding me of the truth,
but sometimes, sometimes some days are worse than other & these thoughts
haunt me once again…
"You, you are not pretty, your
curves are too big, your thighs too large, you waist to thick & your
stomach, yikes it’s not even close to thin. Your smiles not big enough your
eyes too large, your profiles ugly and your skins uneven. You are not smart,
not even close! You'll always struggle no matter how hard you try. You don’t
have enough friends. People find your presence annoying, your jokes are dumb
your laughs too loud. You are not athletic not even the slightest, don’t play
those sports don’t go on that run, you’ll just look dumb. You will never be
healed, you’ll always be sick, something will always be wrong. Don’t even dream
about a family, you’ll never have kids. Your feelings are dumb, hold back those
tears. Stop thinking so much, the voice in your head echoes because you're all
alone. You'll be an awful wife, you are not ready, you never will be. You don’t
pray enough you never will, so why even try? Don’t leave this country don’t
even try to tell others of the ‘good news’ because who are you? Who you are is
a mess. Put down that book it’s too big to read, the words in there are not for
you. You are not good enough look around, see I told you, it's true."
These words although hard to admit, have echoed over & over in my mind far
too many times. These lies are filled with discontentment, emptiness & lost
hope. Satan is yelling these lies while the Lord is whispering "you are
enough." So today I choose to drain out the lies & embrace the truth.
To anyone else out there who has ever
heard these words, remember they are lies. You're not alone & you are
enough!
